Won't let nobody hurt you.

Boo. Happy Halloween ! :D Was supposed to attend Halloween at Sentosa

yesterday with Alex, Grace, Jinshun and co but the tickets were all sold

out. So we went to Sentosa to play volleyball! We played from about 3pm

until 7pm+. Grace went to have dinner with Jinhao and co at KFC while I

accompanied Alex to eat at Kopitiam. Alex went home after that i went to

met Grace, Yixuan, Gary, Rickmond, Jinhao and Junru. Took mrt all the

way to Bishan and went to KOI. Took bus to Junru's house after that. We

went to Junru's house to ton. Gary didn't followed us as he was tired.

Reached at about 11pm++ and went to Junru's room. Used computer(s),

played PS2 and chatted. Rickmond and Jinhao slept at about 3am++.

Ordered mac and ate with Grace and Yixuan. Continued to blackshot

after that. Yixuan and Grace went to sleep at about 5am while I went to

sleep at 5:30pm. Woke up at 11am, feeling a little giddy with red eyes.

Had brunch with Jinhao, Grace and Rickmond at a market somewhere

AMK. Took 166 with Grace from AMK bus interchange all the way to

Clementi bus interchange, it took us about 1 hour 40min to reach, i almost

went crazy in the bus. LOL despite feeling tired, i still accompanied my

cousin to play badminton until 7pm+. Went home, took a shower and

watched Harry Potter on CH5. I'm going to school tmrw to appeal for

DNT, i don't wanna take arts. Hope that the appeal would be successful.

God bless me. :P

But i need you more than you'll ever know :'(

I missed how closed we used to be, I hate how far we've grown apart.
I.Miss.Us
---
Sometimes the best memories are sad because you know they will
never happen again.
---

Anyone can easily walk away from somebody else. Nobody is forced to stay; we all have choices. But the real test is if someone would rather stay with you, even though walking away would be so much easier.

Don't tell me cus it hurts.

At times you just have to try not to care, no matter how much you do, because
sometimes you mean nothing to the person who means everything to you.
----
Why is it that we are more willing to open our heart again for that one person
who hurts us the most rather than for someone new?
----
You and me, we used to be together, everyday together, always. I really feel
that i'm losing my best friend. I can't believe this could be the end, it looks
as though you're letting go and if it's real then i don't want to know.
----
Skipped school today, don't feel like going to school to give Mdm Nurmaiza
that 500 words essay.

It looks as though you're letting go.

Benedict won me in bowling. (Happy now, Benedict ?) :)
-Nevermind now...go play your blackshot, go sms your Jiawei. Go hang out
with all your other friends, go do whatever you want. I'm so afraid of you..
Guess you'll never come around, not anytime soon, that's for sure. Why
can't you just open up your eyes and look around. Why can't you be more
fair to me. Forget it, nothing goes into your head anyway. You don't care.
You see, and you forget. But whatever Jiawei tells you, you remember. :)
Go sms Jiawei, shan't disturb you already.. -Jed
Sometimes late at night I think about all the things that have been,
all the things that haven’t been and all the things yet to be. I wonder
if this world will ever make sense to me, if I will ever truly
understand anything… and if there’s really anything to understand
at all.

When nothing feels alright.

The worst feeling isn't being lonely but being forgotten by someone you
can't forget. As usual, i only slept for 1 hour before i went to school. My
mind was full of questions and i before i knew it, i was crying. I really don't
want to be like this but i just can't help it. I wanna spend more time with
you man. Nevermind...it's no use saying either. Who cares. I try to act like
i don't need you anymore but the fact is i do but i'm just putting up a
strong front. I'm afraid that one day you might stop hanging out with me
or you might forget me... I need you in my life but i'm afraid to open up
because i'm afraid of getting sad. Sometimes, you just don't seem like you
need me... Sigh, guess i won't be able to sleep well today again... I just
wish there is actually someone who would treat me just the way i treat
them and cherishes me. I'm so sad this few days...nevermind no one care
anyway.. I shall stop here for today... - Jed.

Don't wanna hurt anymore.

All this time i was wasting my time hoping that you would come around. You're always neglecting people whenever you're busy or having fun. Sometimes, i really regretted getting to know you because if i hadn't got to know you well maybe i won't get upset everytime. But i can't rewind time. Often, i have nightmares that you didn't want to hang out with me anymore. And i would wake up in fright, afraid to go back to sleep again. Every single day, the same routine. It is so scary to me. Do you even know how it feels ? Well, you probably don't because you've got so many other friends. But to me, you mean quite the world to me. Why was i given birth...i hate my life. I don't want to feel so upset. I don't want to have nightmares. It is so tiring to have cared so much for a person but it doesn't cares for you too. After all, we all just want to love and be loved. I feel like im living this world alone. I feel like im on the verge of breaking down but no one seems to care. Im so depressed right now. Im so tired, so worn out, torn and battered. I wanna cry. I want to not bother about anything. I wanna suicide. Where were you when i needed you..... -Jed.